Month in Movies: March

Month in Movies

This monthly meme was inspired by Holly’s Movie Madness posts & Jamie’s film posts. 

Source: Google
Source: Google

Leap Year 

Well since 2016 is a leap year, we had to watch this fun, romantic film. Amy Adams and Matthew Goode are a delight, and the majority of the film takes place in Ireland. This is a great lighthearted romance.

3.5/5

Source: Google
Source: Google

X-Men: Days of Future Past 

The fact that Bryan Singer used this film to basically wipe out the terrible mess that was X-Men: Last Stand never ceases to amuse me. While I didn’t enjoy this quite as much as I remembered, it’s still a great film with a phenomenal cast.

3/5

Source: Google
Source: Google

Girl, Interrupted 

I’ve been curious about this film for a while, and it was certainly a fascinating watch. There are definitely some elements that can be triggering, but it provoked a lot of interesting thoughts.

4/5

Source: Google
Source: Google

Brooklyn 

From the moment I learned of this film, I’ve been dying to see it. I adore Saoirse Ronan and Domhnall Gleeson, so put them in a film together and I will watch it no matter what. Overall though, Brooklyn was even better than I expected. It is visually beautiful, and the cast all gave exquisite performances with great depth. Emory Cohen and Fiona Glascott were unexpected scene-stealers. Although this movie is not action-packed, it is very thoughtful, and I would highly recommend it.

4.5/5

A Case of Fandom Fatigue

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I’ve spent the past dozen or so years immersed in pop culture and fandom. Although the shows, books, and movies that I’m obsessed with have changed over the years, I’ve consistently remained in the sometimes messy, sometimes beautiful world of fandom. How I’ve participated has ranged from creating (fanfiction, fanart) to commenting (blogging, Twitter) to absorbing (reading everything about everything online). Throughout the years, I have sought to keep my finger on the pulse; I thrived on discovering, discussing, and loving these things that so many other people cared about too. Lately, however, I find myself drifting away from it all.

Slowly, the number of shows I feel strongly about and have made certain to be caught up on has dwindled. My DVR has piled up with dozens of episodes that I cannot find the motivation to watch. In the past, when I’d find myself faced with so many shows to catch up on, I would feel anxious knowing that I was likely to be spoiled or miss out on the conversation, but now I am realizing I do not care.

Perhaps it’s just that I’ve become burnt out trying to keep up with the wild, unstoppable pace of the Internet and the things it hypes. Maybe it’s just that the real world has changed so much lately that everything seems pale in technology-785742_960_720comparison. It’s strange though to feel so disconnected  from the world of which I’ve been so involved with. It’s almost a relief though not to feel the desperation to remain relevant in the world of fandom. Stepping away from it has been something I’ve been thinking about for a while. Sometimes, I feel that I am living my life more in fiction than in reality. Surely, there have been moments when this has helped me keep my sanity, but now, I feel like I’ve allowed it to become my world which isn’t right either.

All of this does not mean I plan to never watch a TV show or film or read a book again. There are certainly things that I will still follow and love and remain passionate about, but I feel as if I’ve reached the point where my life is too tied up in fandom. While I love the Internet and fandom, it seems, at times, that I have sacrificed my life offline for my one online.

Musings, Rhymes, and More #5

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Musings, Rhymes, and More #5

One of my goals for 2016 is to write something (anything!) on a daily basis. I plan to then pick my favorite of these and share it/them here on a weekly basis. These will vary in length, format, and theme.

“Never cry at work.” “Leave your personal problems at the door.” “Be professional.”

It’s all advice that you’ve undoubtedly heard before, and it has a logical, reasonable purpose. Obviously, a professional world where all of the employees are constantly breaking down or only focused on their personal lives would not be productive. However, all of us who exist in the professional world still also fall under the classification of human. We are fallible, emotional beings, and our lives often suffer sorrow and setbacks. Why is it, then, that we are expected to somehow turn off the emotions when our lives may be falling apart? Why do we judge the people who have reached their breaking point and that just happens to occur in the place where they work?

Our culture seems to consistently advocate for the separation of life and work, but is that really feasible? No matter how hard we may try to create a line at some point the lines begin to blur. Some may argue that workplaces offer leave or perhaps vacation time for their employees to deal with personal issues. However, there are many situations that do not qualify for leave or the employee cannot afford to take leave or the leave isn’t offered or the leave isn’t enough. Most jobs allow time off for loss, but this is often restricted to immediate family. There is no consideration for the relationships which may be more significant than blood. Also, the idea that we are meant to mourn and move on within a minuscule amount of time is unfathomable.

In addition, there are so many situations that have a profound effect on us, but we are meant to keep working even as we fall apart. There are times when a relationship, whether it be with a lover, a friend, or a family member, disintegrates and our whole world feels changed. There is often mockery of this in the media, especially in regards to romantic break-ups, but instances such as these can have such an impact on our own identities and equilibrium. Likewise, the loss of an opportunity or a beloved pet or something else that may seem minor to the masses can create in one person a deep emotional reaction. For those with mental illness, there are days when just the act of getting out of bed and making it to work takes every ounce of strength they have. When they are fighting against their own mind to keep breathing, it can feel impossible to focus on work tasks.

Now I’m not arguing that employers should offer time off or should seek to make impossible accommodations for people struggling in their personal lives. Obviously, there is no way to implement strategies that would not be abused or used in excess or financially feasible. So no, that is not what I am seeking to say. I simply want us, as a culture, to stop expecting people to flip their emotions off like a switch the moment they clock in to work. Instead of seeing judgment and ridicule for someone who simply cannot take it anymore and breaks down in tears while they’re on the clock, I’d love to see sympathy.

For some people, I’m sure that work is an escape from the problems of their lives which is valid as well. There have certainly been times where work has allowed me to find a way out of the pain in my mind. There are also other days when no matter how hard I try, I cannot care about the job I’m doing, and when the pain overwhelms me to feeling as if I’m choking as I try not to breakdown. It is the fear of being seen as something less, as weak, or unprofessional that forces me to swallow the tears before I walk in the door. But I wonder if our world would be better if we allowed ourselves to feel and if empathy was as important as getting ahead.

Month in Movies: February

Month in Movies

This monthly meme was inspired by Holly’s Movie Madness posts & Jamie’s film posts. 

Source: Google
Source: Google

Pride & Prejudice & Zombies 

Initially, I only wanted to see this because of the cast (okay, it was just Matt Smith), but once the trailer was released my expectations grew. There was some hesitation, but I convinced my friend to see this with me and we both enjoyed it. It wasn’t as gory as I worried it would be, and it was absolutely hilarious. Lena Headey was a bit disappointing as she just didn’t get much to work with, and it took me a while to warm up to Sam Riley as Mr. Darcy. However, the cast overall is quite strong. Lily James, Douglas Booth, and Matt Smith were fantastic. Matt Smith’s Mr. Collins is certainly one of my favorite versions of the character, and I thought I might die of laughter. I’d definitely recommend this, and I look forward to seeing it again.

3.5/5

Source: Google
Source: Google

Star Wars: The Force Awakens 

Comfort universe. It was a rough month.
This makes four times, so I probably would recommend this.

3.5/5

Musings, Rhymes, and More #4

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Musings, Rhymes, and More #4

One of my goals for 2016 is to write something (anything!) on a daily basis. I plan to then pick my favorite of these and share it/them here on a weekly basis. These will vary in length, format, and theme. 

#3

You ask for my trust
but you had it.
It was yours –
completely.
And you took it
and sliced it
into pieces;
lit it on fire;
and threw the ashes
to the wind.

#4

The world has shattered.
There’s glass on the floor.
Sitting alone – battered
unable to crawl to the door.

Trapped by fear and pain
with no one left to come.
Drowning under the cold rain
and quickly becoming numb.

The water runs red
and the glass sparkles and gleams.
Wishing to be dead
for nothing is as it seems.

World Turned Upside Down

When the world falls apart at the seams, it’s hard to find the motivation to move forward. It’s strange to discover that your entire life is not what you thought it was; everything suddenly comes into question. Recently, my sisters and I learned that our father had a history of indiscretions and violations of trust and privacy dating back to when we were babies. It is something that has come and gone again and again. Although there were moments that we were vaguely aware of or perhaps at least suspicious, the whole truth was something we, or at least I, were woefully unprepared for.

Learning about this other existence that resided alongside the one I thought I knew has made me question so much about life. I have found my trust in my family, my friends, in humanity – shaken to the core. Everyone lies in some way or another, but the purpose, intensity, and effects of each lie are so distinct. Many people never progress beyond the telling of small, white lies. However, recently I’ve come to wonder if honesty and truth are possibilities in this world at all. Every day it seems you hear of another celebrity or politician or average joe being enveloped in some huge scandal or cover-up or caught in a lie, and as that is combined with the failings of those closest to you, it becomes very hard to believe the words, feelings, or motivations of those around you or in the public sphere.
It is not unexpected to discover that my parents are human, fallible, and have made mistakes, but knowing this does not make their actions easier to comprehend or bear. It does not change the fact that so much of what I thought I knew about my own life is a lie. My identity and my history feels as if it is unraveling and I do not know how to hold the threads together. I ask myself if it is the way the secret comes to light that matters. Would the emotional fallout be the same had the facts been revealed by choice instead of only being acknowledged following discovery and confrontation? I don’t know, but I feel as if it might. Someone choosing to own up to their mistakes instead of grasping at straws following their guilt being exposed seems easier to swallow.

I do not know where to go from here. Forgiveness is sought and proposed. Certainly, it is always a possibility. However, no matter how much we wish we might, it is impossible to forget some things. And trust, once broken so deeply and completely, is something that I do not know can be fixed.